Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.

They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.

My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview, She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this.

I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family.

I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President ?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

Labels: humor